16-Obama, 3-McCain.
this from Jr.'s first grade Mock election today!
Obama wins, at least in first grade!
Hope he wins for real too!
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Aaalum Velum palluku urudhi
What does that mean?
(it means that your teeth get stronger if you brush it with twigs from certain trees .. Pipal/Neem to be more specific)
You see, people in the villages in south India used to use twigs from these trees to brush their teeth. Western medicine has finally caught up with the twigs and rumor has it that there are neem farms in Florida where medical research is coming up with neem extracts for curing gum diseases. Now, that is one instance of a natural product that helps dental care. But there are other issues with this.
I tried brushing with a neem branch when I was 5 or 6 years old and did more damage to my teeth than good! While the chemicals in the neem twig are medicinal, twigs are pretty rough on the teeth and gums. Colgate and Binaca toothpaste (or Margo Neem soap for that matter) made it the best of both worlds! As you have probably figured out by now, this post is going to do a 270 degree turn and veer far from the neem twig freeway!
If you are a regular of this blog, you probably know that it sticks 80% to "a naturalized American from India, raising kids in the USA", "how to get the best of both worlds", "how to deal with the worst from both worlds" , etc.. and the other 20% is posts on events that affect the blogger and his family like Bailouts, Voting, travel issues etc.
By now, you have also heard me complain that there is a blatant double standard imposed on Indians who live abroad for the most part, by telling them that they have no right to say anything that could be interpreted as negative. Apparently only people who "live with the problems" can say "where is the problem?" or "we have a problem", and it is some kind of right that has been "earned"!
Now what has this got to do with "Aaalum Velum..."?
This phenomena of "you don't live here anymore, so go mind your business" is true of anyone who leaves a place to go live elsewhere, and is one of those Anthropology things for all I know, and chances are, there are detailed paragraphs in Manu sastra which tell you about this!
Sarcasm apart, my dad tells me that when their family left the village to come settle in Madras (this was 60 odd years ago), they would get the same treatment when they mentioned things like "antibiotics", western medicine (vaccinations), etc. when they went back to the villages and they would see people die of causes that had preventive cures in the City!
They would get the "aalum velum pallukku urudhi" lecture, blown to extraordinary proportions from the guys who never left the village.
It was just funny to see the problem is a universal one (the people, the settings, the issues may be different) which has nothing to do with George Bush, Oil Wars, American Capitalism, Indian culture, etc. etc. All those are just detractors used to argue the "Protectionist" logic. (If I find a good book that deals with this subject, will let you know. Worse case, when I finally retire, tired and broke, a long time from now, will write a book on this topic with the same title as this post and hopefully make some money! After all, universal topics have great readership.)
Fast forward to thirty years ago! Similar things happened to my FIL who decided to graduate from IIT Madras, and go settle in Bombay because he got a really good job there, where he felt he made a difference. He got married to a Tamizh girl, they had San while they were in Bombay and when he would come back to Madras and tell people of how things are "done differently in Bombay" and seem to work for the better, he would get a different version of "Aaalum Velum..." except this time the reasons would be tradition, Tamizh culture, lack of Agraharams in Bombay etc. etc.
Now fast forwarding to the last 13 years or so (ever since my first trip back to India after coming to the USA to study), the same thing happens to me. I get that same "you are an outsider" treatment (this has been irrespective of F1/H1B/Green Card/Citizenship). All I am allowed to do is send money to repent for making that choice to go abroad to study, then work, then raise a family, be some kind of emotional punching bag for the near and dear ones when they see all their problems, as being due to the most energetic person in the family, not being around to do all kinds of errands, from getting Pachchai Milagai from the local grocery store to standing in line for Milk coupons.
Even got a lecture once along the lines of "sundaram, viralukku eththa veekam dhan daa irukkanum.." (Sundar, a finger should only swell to the right size.). What is implied is that if one finger in a hand grows too long, then either the finger has to be cut or the whole hand is to be cut as it will become useless. The translation was, that the average family wanted me to be an average guy so I fit in. So any suggestions to change anything would be considered as a finger too long!
Things have changed a lot, now that everyone in the family has visited the USA or some other country over the years and the advent of the internet penetrating the households. These days I even get sympathy from family when people misunderstand me, things in the USA, how somehow I am responsible for all of GWB's actions, the Iraq war, rising prices etc. They somehow understand that my getting to vote and voting for Obama is taking a stand for issues! At least the ones who understand correct the ones who don't.
Us vs. Them is not a new concept. It has existed for ages, be it in the east or west or anywhere else for that matter, with a varying demographic segment!
Used to end a lot of conversations with "the world is shrinking!". Do not know if it is shrinking or just segregating into a lot of little pockets, like milk that curdles in front of your eyes or blood cells that segregate into little pockets on a slide when the CSI agent puts that special reagent on them, each drop unable to merge with its nearest neighbours*.
Do not know what my girls will go through a few decades from now. What will be the centerpoint of the argument over which they will be taking sides? What will be their choices? Will have to live and see where all this is going.
For the interim, the blogger and this blog are doing to take a resolve to increase the % of lighter side of life posts. It is better to have face to face discussions with folks.
The internet seems to be a wrong medium for a lot of topics.
See you all around!
For now, this blog takes a break from seriousness.
*In 1993, an undergrad student complained to my department head asking that I be warned for using the word "neighbour" when I corrected his Materials 101 exam! He was apparently offended by my spelling and his claim was that he was studying in an American University and he did not have to be corrected on his answer with a "British" spelling. So much for Us vs. them!
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Gay rights Bay rights, let talk Say rights first!
What started as a comment became longer than my usual posts. So instead of taking up space on the MM's box, decided to post it here!
Before we go into this post which is a response to my "right to comment" being questioned, a few things:
The blogosphere is not in any way representative of the general population. If bloggers views were to represent countries, cities, religion etc. it would provide a very skewed opinion because the average blogger is computer savvy, educated and is probably economically well off compared to the average citizen!
I usually stay away from strong statements, spiteful comments, flame wars, etc. simply because that is my way of "live and let live". I have learnt over the years that it is not wise to jump to conclusions based on what you see or hear, or feel on an impulse for that matter!
that said, here is the comment?!
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Would like to point out a few things w.r.t. this post and the comments:
1. Just like you are suppposed to have done certain things before you apparently get the right to write hindi movie reviews, you should have lived in two different countries for a big part of your life before you can comment on people with dual citizenship Dual Citizenship or Non Resident Status! People who have never left their birth country to live in another country should not pass judgement on motives or reasons for choosing dual citizenshipdual citizenship or Non Resident Status (same logic should apply, no?) There are many.. and they are not purely financial!
2. If it is possible for people of this world to absorb different cultures and relish it, be it eating pizza for lunch, noodles for dinner and vaththa kozhambu for the next days lunch, or for that matter being able to celebrate Diwali and Halloween in succesion with equal vigor and happiness, there is no reason why these people cannot choose to love two lands equally!
As for "war", yes, it is a big question. As part of taking a US Citizenship, you do have to take an oath (and say it and mean it) where you definitely promise to take sides with the US if it goes to War with your previous homeland. On a personal note, it was the one sticking point for someone like me taking US citizenship. But I said it and meant it, because a long time ago, decided that dual citizenship or not, this is now my home. It was said with fond hopes of that event never happening, but it was said. That does not necessarily make one a traitor or anti-Indian or anything!
Let's take religion for example. God forbid (no pun intended here) if there are Hindu Christian riots in Delhi, what would you do? Take sides at some fundamental level? Is that even a nice or fair question to ask someone? Based on that hypothetical question and a hypothetical answer, is it okay to go pass judgement on an entire class of people?
Please read, this post.
Life takes you places and no one knows what is in store for anyone. All we can hope for is to make the world a better place. Fundamentally there is more bad in religion than good. God did not create religion, man did and for the most part, to further his own interest, but good people can see through that and co-exist. A good christian = a good hindu= a good muslim = a good person! In the event of making certain fundamental choices of right or wrong a good person, irrespective of religion, will make the same call.
I am also surprised by the fact that one is "expected to live in a country" to be able to say anything even slightly negative about that country. (apparently it is okay for anyone to say good things!)
Forget people who have taken dual citizenship, looks like even the non resident Indians have no right to comment on India, if this is true!
That bothers me. It has always bothered me and I have to speak up for my words to be heard!
A conversation this week over phone:
Me: happy diwali , how are you?
Relative: happy diwali. doing okay. What have Americans done? They are collapsing the entire world! Greenspan cooly makes a press statement saying blah blah blah..
Me: !!! (is he expecting me to apologize as an American?)
yet over many similar conversations when I have said something even slightly negative of how things are in terms of infrastructure I am told:
"you are not living here. so what do you care. don't complain. you mind your business where you are!"
Do my parents not live in India?
Do all my relatives not live in India?
Do I not spend at least 1/12 th of my year in India?
Do things that happen in India, not affect me?
When I hear about bomb blasts in Ahmedabad or Varanasi do I just go about my business or worry about family and friends?
Every time I say something about "how things could be better" it is not a "complaint". There is a word in Tamizh for this "aadangam". "oru aagangaththula sollaren". I wish I could translate that word. It is almost like a longing wish that things were different, and that wish is there because you have seen that things can be different, there are solutions and those solutions work.
It is like going to a village without electricity and you know if they had solar panels they could have electricity for at least critical needs! If you say that out loud, you are "complaining about India", "have no right to say things about lack of electricity in villages in India" etc. because:
1. you don't live in India
2. you don't live in a village
3. you are not going to personally take all your savings and convert them to solar panels in Indian villages.
To all of the above, I say "Bah!" (and the funny thing is that the bloggers who question my comment do not live in Villages or are not going to do what they ask me to do either!)
If you write about such a thing as a solar panel, how it works, how it can be cost effective and spread the awareness for the solution, maybe the people in power or the people who put those people in power would consider that approach! It is said with an "aadangam", not with an intent to criticize!
"Improvement" is change in a postive direction. If one suggests improvement, that means "Change"! A very simple statement, but it can be construed differently by different people.
Folks who understand the need for change, embrace it. The rest say things like "you are trying to make fun of the current state of affairs. what right have you? etc. etc."
The world is very polarized today.
If a vegetarian tells a person who eats meat that it is wrong to kill another creature... it sparks a debate
If a person who eats meat, tries to tell a vegetarian not to have an abortion... that sparks another debate
If a meat eating, pro-life civilian asks a vegetarian pro-choice military person, how he can actually pull the trigger and take a human life, that sparks another debate
The world is also very funny today!
The only thing that will get us through is, live and let live!
And that is "tolerance"
Tolerance is the ability to hear what Indian people who live outside have to say about India, and vice versa!
and for the record, I will say
"India is my country" **(OCI which means Overseas Citizen of India apparently does not mean Citizen in any sense of the word. See Lak's comment. So that might leave the statement as questionable at best. Based on that I can make that past tense, but the next sentence still holds true!)
You cannot take what is Indian, or what is American and separate it out of me!
ps. Anyone can write a review. How good a review is depends on the reviewers understanding of the subject matter! A person who is Indian only by blood writing a crappy review in poor taste of a Hindi Movie or Indian youth is wrong. Trying to say NRI's and dual citizens have no right to make comments by extension is equally wrong. That is the summary of this post, in case you are wondering!
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