When one gets to see one's mom face to face once every two years and on video calls once in 3 months, an official "mother's day" is warranted.
Being at home for Mother's day is also a nice thing. Was supposed to come back Saturday, but came in a day early thanks to another food poisoning scare. At this point, I need a quick test to check the food before eating it to find out if it will make me throw up. Someone should come up with a field test equipment to check foods for allergens.
This morning the mother hen got a lot of gifts and we have all been on our best behaviour, although the day is far from over and it is too early to call. Given that previous sentence, you get the general picture that the average day for San is a disappointing one.
Over the last year and a half, given my travel schedule, the dynamic in the house has changed a lot. Have seen too many traveling men lose their families (out of sight, out of mind, right?!) and the ones that still have their families being reduced to the same treatment as an ATM machine.
Do not want to end up like that. So my own insecurities have led me to be the good cop more often than in years before. That makes San the bad cop all the time and the kids really take it out on her. She has gone and cried her eyes out on multiple occasions last year because the kids saw her as "some kind of enemy" and I did not step in enough to take sides. Again, these are perceptions and perceptions are a precursor to reality.
There is another issue with taking sides when three girls are fighting. One minute they are fighting. Next minute they are best friends and the one guy in the house, who took sides is the bad guy, simply because he took sides! So it is a lose-lose situation for me if I take sides. Having learned that the hard way, I sit outside the ring and watch.
All I wanted to do was wish everyone a happy mothers day and this post is meandering out of control. So getting back on topic, today has been a good and peaceful day so far.
Called my mother and wish her a Happy Mother's day. Her remote controlling abilities on me are waning and it is noticeable. These days there is no guilt tripping, no lecturing, etc. There is just a quiet resignation to the fact that her son is not going to do a desk job and is unlikely to stop traveling in the near future in spite of all her pleas and all she can do is to pray for my health.
The fact that my grandma is not doing well, is more on her mind than anything. Have made a resolution that before this year ends, will go spend a few days or at least a weekend with my parents.
Then I went to yoga class this morning. The owner of the studio, was on the adjacent mat. For those readers who do not know her, think of the Mother Superior in the Convent schools we see in our Tamil and Malayalam movies, and square it. Two weeks ago, she had planned to do back to back classes and for some reason got pulled back to attend to urgent business before the second class. So her empty mat was there next to mine. The thought that she might show up suddenly on that mat anytime, scared me enough to give 120% for the first 20 mintues of class. The Virtual teacher was scarier than the real one.
There are only two scenarios that are more serious than having the Yoga Matriarch on that next mat, real or virtual.
a. My MIL on the next mat.
b. My mom on the next mat
Two women who are capable of pushing me with that "mom sentiment".
a. has happened and has been verified, while b. is highly unlikely to happen in this lifetime.
All that said, my Yoga teachers are my "in-loco-moms" now. They make sure I don't get away with any slacking. They also care in a way only a mom cares for you. Push you a little bit over the edge knowing that falling is part of learning to walk.
I type this with the realization that one has to be really fortunate and have good Karma, to be surrounded by women who make your world worth living.
Here's to moms!
Happy mothers day everyone.
Now, have to go and make sure the rest of the day is peaceful !
ps. Was searching for a good photo of my dad for him to use on his cell phone ID in India and found these ones from 4 years ago. The first one is "mom, the by the book south Indian wife" and the second one is "mom, the school teacher who taught for 42 years and retired"
