The number 12 nipple

Years ago, when San was pregnant with Jr., we had a baby shower at my work place for her. One of the gifts was an AVENT bottle set with a few bottles, nipples, cleaning stuff etc..

Glad that the feeding bottles were already given to us, and finding out that AVENT was the most common brandname that newbie parents used, we started using the set with great results. I used to admire the intricate design which would let air bubbles escape through the special lid, the fl oz markings etc. etc.

Trouble started when Jr. was four months old. She used to get extremely furstrated with the bottle. Being the astute observer and experimenter that I was, I concluded that there was definitely something wrong with the bottle or nipple and it was not Jr.'s fault. By then the nipple had become less transparent and we collectively agreed that we needed a new set.

We were promptly adviced by "the parents and relatives" gang on how they couldn't advice us on such problems because in those good old days the breast was the only bottle, etc. etc., this in spite of the fact that Jr. was an entirely breast milk bottle fed baby!

In hindsight, drinking from a breast vs. a bottle would probably be like driving an automatic vs. manual transmission vehicle! The breast probably adjusts flow to the demands of the baby and has some kind of psychic feed back loop between the mom and baby. I cannot prove this, but I am sure the many scientists who have devoted their entire lifetime to the breast, have studies that support my hypothesis! A bottle with a nipple, on the other hand is like driving on a single gear. Readers of this blog, must know by now, that there is always some study somewhere that supports my hypothesis!

So, imagine our surprise when we go to Toys'r'us and the guy asks me, "Which number AVENT nipple would you like to buy Sir?".

San and me looked at each other and went "What number?"

The guy gave us this look which could loosely be translated as "just because some body parts fit, people like this end up as parents! there has got to be a pre-parenthood IQ test".. anyways, I digress and you probably got the drift.

To top things off he showed us a #1 embossed on the side of the nipple. I had washed that thing a few million times without once realizing that there was a "1" on the side. Of course the nipple was 100% transparent and the "1" was 99% transparent and that fact would explain why! Nevertheless, we were branded in the eyes of that salesman and the other parents shopping in the feeding bottle aisle.

Having learnt our lesson, we walked back with some #2 and #4 nipples to prepare us for the days to come. We were also smart enough to start our second child, on #2 right away and went promptly to #4 in a few months.

Trouble has revisited us after three years. Jr. went from #4 straight to a sippy cup and would drink water, milk or anything liquid, through the sippy cup. The little one has somehow identified the "sippy cup" to be dedicated for water only. If we give her milk, she takes the first sip and promptly spits it out on the floor! After writing a little thesis on the impact of spat out milk on various flooring materials, I decided, enough was enough!

Took a #4, punched out a few extra holes with grandma's safety pin and we now behold, the #12 nipple! The holes are not exactly professional and we can see the little one is getting variable flow. We guess this by the way her eyebrows change as the nipple suddenly goes from trickle to flood in under six seconds. The surprise element is helping the otherwise bored child and daddy is considering a patent on the surprise nipple!

Tomorrow, we plan to buy a new #4 and put holes with a hot needle or search for a better solution. We also have promised Pillaiyaar Ummachchi a few rupees worth of Kalpooram if the little one takes to a the sippy cup soon!

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