The many degrees of "relaxation"

Today was a very special yoga day. Bikram Yoga San Jose had a special class at 10AM with Rajashree Choudhury teaching the class.

We have heard so much about her teaching style and how special her class is from the teachers. So it was a not to miss experience. A lot of times I end up missing classes taught by visiting teachers because of the travel schedule. Was fortunate to be in town to attend this class.

The dialogue in every Bikram yoga class is the same. The time for every class is the same 90 minutes but the teachers are a broad spectrum. On one side we have the high energy fire breathing dragon drill seargents and on the other side we have the hypnotic horse whisperers. Then there are varying mixes of the two combinations. The end result after the class is more or less the same. You are completely drained of thought and you are happy to go out into the world, all zoned out! 

Once in a while you get someone on either extreme who can make you feel more zoned out than you think was possible. Not talking about doing a pose deeper or more correct to the form during class here...

It is about a certain silence in your head that is just quieter than the usual. We should have a scale to quantify silence, that is exponential like the Decibel scale or the Richter scale.

Maybe "silence" is the wrong word here as this is not the opposite of noise. It is more than just the absence of sound. It the absence of any sensory data going into your brain to disturb you. 

We had a great class today where Rajashree took us through the usual 90 minute routine with some tidbits of information thrown in. Most of them were about why we do what we do in class and encouraging us to persevere.  

Then when the poses and final breathing was over and we were all stretched out on the mats, she started talking softly, telling us how to relax. There are one or two teachers who try this by saying "relax your neck, your shoulders, your hips... " and they make you consciously relax your body head to toe. What we heard today was different. It was advice, technique and hypnotism at work. 

After a few minutes of listening to her talk, I had no idea what she was even saying! It was almost a whisper. It was like being submerged in a tank of water or what the astronauts decribe as part of their space walk experience. You know there is a tether connecting you to the world but it seems to be getting more and more distant as time passes.

Got a tingling sensation in the left side of my head after a few minutes into this "whispering shavasana". Usually tingles in the hot room means that blood is flowing to that part of your body for the first time in a long time. Within a few minutes there were tingling sensations all over my brain and at that point the whisper became very faint.

Then everyone clapped for some reason and was back to staring at the light on the ceiling. It was like coming back out of anesthesia after a surgery and staring at the lights or that is the closest I can explain what happened after being "so far out there".

Had been in shavasana for more than 15 minutes. For a person who runs out at the end of 90 minutes on any given day because of a conference call to attend or a kid to pick up from some class on the way home, the extra 15 minutes is a luxury. Today it was a real lesson. Now I know why the teachers say "missing the 2 minute shavasana at the end of class is like working very hard, then forgetting to collect your paycheck". 

Going to stay on the mat after class for longer times, at least on weekend classes or Friday evenings going forward. 

Todays class was like a power surge that forcibly reset the hardware in my head. Now the trick is to relive this experience after every yoga class!

After class we got to talk to Rajashree for a few minutes.  Jr. had come to BYSJ so she could see what this was all about and also clicked a picture.

Wanted to tell her so many things. Wanted to show her how my broken hand is now normal again. How Bikram Yoga has given me a second chance and made me believe in the concept of second chances, but before I said anything she mentions her son wears a Janau and asks me if I do Sandhya Vandhanam every day. Told her that I do it most days but only once a day.

My Bikram Yoga attendance is better than my Sandhya Vandhanam frequency. She says "do that as well! it is good for you"

Jr. was all smiles when she said "your daughter is beautiful". Today Jr. saw almost a 100 people come out all smiling after class and line up to talk to Rajashree. It is my sincere hope she does yoga again soon. Given how busy she is with 8th grade, she could really use it. 

It was truly a "special experience" like the teachers at BYSJ told us over the last few days.

Hats off.. we should really say "Mats off" to Rajashree Choudhury, the "horse whisperer extraordinaire"!

Taking off with your body and mind..

In a sense, we are all airplanes in different shapes, sizes and colors. We are all more or less trying to use the equipment we have, to do the best we can, before the equipment (body and mind) need some major upgrades or outright fail. 

Flying airplanes needs a license. Flying your "self" doesn't.

Those piloting licenses have varying degrees of difficulty and requirements. 

Anything from 20 hours of solo flying and 15 hours of flying with a certified instructor for a small Cessna to 1500 hours of solo flying and more hours with experienced pilots to fly a Jumbo jet.

Where am I going with all this comparison?

When I started doing yoga, we were not sure if I will survive the first dozen classes. That was 100 minutes of Yoga. 

That went by fast.

The next milestone was ~ 1000 minutes of yoga or ~ 112 classes.. that also went by fast within four months. 

The next one is longer. 10,000 minutes of yoga, lets approximate to a 1000 classes. As a person who meticulously does graphs and charts and keeps track of things to get a nerds eye view of yoga, there is another 85 classes to go for the 1000'th Yoga class and a little more to go after that for 10,000 minutes in the hot room. At the rate at which I am attending, before year end, that milestone will come and go.

Then there is one more possible milestone to go, in this lifetime. 

100,000 minutes of yoga. Let's call it 10,000 classes. That should take another 37 years judging by current extrapolation, give or take. 

There are folks we know who have been doing yoga twice a day, almost every day for a decade. For them, seeing that milestone is almost a given. For the rest of us who are happy to do yoga once a day, at every chance we get, a 40 year timeframe to get there sounds about right. 

Not sure if there will be a lot of counting after a 1000 classes. Maybe there will be some lifestyle change at some point? Maybe there will be more yoga? Maybe age will catch up and there will be less? There is no predicting. 

One thing that keeps me going is that somehow, somewhere deep within, there is a realization that doing yoga is going to help me get there and the more yoga I do, the higher the chances of getting through those 37 years!

We can check back in 20 years and see a progress report. 

From Pranayama to Kapalbhati - A nerds eye view

March 5th 2013 was a special day. If my life were to flash past my eyes that day will definitely be on that flashback!

The San Jose Bikram Yoga center had a challenge. Do Yoga 60 times in 60 days. The idea was to come every day. But if you had to miss a day for travel or other reasons, you take a class in that location or do a makeup class the same week. I had originally misinterpreted the Challenge to be 60 days in 10 weeks. That meant one rest day a week. Later found out that it was 60 days 60 classes. No rest day!

Given my once a week trip for work, was doubting my ability to go take up this challenge. With a lot of encouragement from San and the kids as well as my co-workers and the entire BYSJ community, signed up on Jan 5th. March 5th was day 60! March 5th was also class 60!

It was a roller coaster ride where the body and mind went through more than a few challenges. Hot Yoga is not a new thing in this family now. On March 11th, it will be two years since the day MIL and myself attended our very first Bikram Yoga class. Even in our best stretch of 91 days attendance in our first 100 days, we took breaks every now and then. There was the day or two where we said "let's not push it. we can go tomorrow". That determination to go to class when you are slightly sore from an outing with the wife and kids or when you ate dinner at some restaurant with co-workers and it doesn't agree with your stomach or you just drove past Sacramento and back between 6AM and 5PM with one long meeting thrown in and came in to a Yoga class at 6:30 PM so you don't miss a day.. was simply not there in any previous streches of doing Yoga.

When we first started Bikram Yoga, our weight was dropping every day, we were becoming stronger and more flexible, our skin was glowing.. the benefits were visible and measurable and obvious to everyone around us. So just the fact that people around you notice positive changes keeps you going. After you go for a few years, the changes are incremental. Every few weeks or so, you manage to reach a new level in one of the poses or your body and mind work together to realize that you have been interpreting the teachers words slightly off and correct for it. In short, slow and steady progress. Fortunately being a Six Sigma person and having run a Fab, yours truly understands the value of Continuous Improvement and that helps a lot!

It is more of a metal challenge to do 60 classes in 60 days. Once you manage to get up at 4:45, get ready, drive to the Yoga studio, spread that mat and lie down to savor the heat, you realize that you will have a great class.  Making it to the room is the hard part. Doing the Yoga after that is like hot fudge! (Not a big fan of icing on cakes if you can't tell by now).

There were so many days in the last 60 that either tested my physical strength or resolve where San or the kids or most importantly my MIL (who has been coming with me to Yoga class the last 17 days) would say "Don't you dare give up now!" San even let me go to evening class for a lot of days and said "I will take care of both the kids routines. Just go.. and I am letting you do this only because you are doing the challenge and you have come so far!" and I accepted her offer with tears in my eyes. The challenge did some funny stuff to the head too and I would get all emotional and weepy, especially between day 45 to 60!

The challenge was also well documented in Excel to see if the stats would tell me something or let me share anything with the rest of the world. . .

First things first. If you do take a challenge like this, it might not be a bad idea to take two classes on weekends in same day just to compensate for future misses..

If that strategy had not been adopted, it would have been a good reason for the mind to say "no way to catch up now.. so drop it!"

There was a self imposed goal to track how the classes actually went, just to see if the energy level stayed flat, increased, decreased, tracked the lunar cycle.. just wanted to see what the data showed, especially after hearing from other folks who said that one starts sitting down for a lot of poses towards the middle of the challenge.

Now for the weight tracking. It was more of an afterthought to track weight on a daily basis. One thing I learned over this weighing process is that when you drink two 500mL bottles of water within an hour after you finish class, that is 2.2 lbs. Started to measure exactly an hour after class and that showed good tasty food does correlate to a baseline weight change!

When you track stuff and enter a few things every day on a spreadsheet before going to bed, you can actually have some fun trying to stare at the data..

There was a stretch where the classes in general were intense and there was one weekend where a 10 year anniversary class had a record 100+ people in the room. It was more of a communal event than a class and I did push myself way past my limits and that correlated to the low weight and the 4 missed poses the next day. Other than that there are many factors that are not charted that could be reasons for the red bars.. One good thing? Managed to do the 60 classes without missing more than 26 poses.

Even tracked the count by teacher. The list was 20 strong and the count ranged from 6 to 1. Do have favorites within the 30+ teachers and my favorites are different from the MIL's favorites. MIL and me classify teachers into three groups. The fire breathing dragons who push you past your limits just with their voice, the horsewhisperers who get you into a trance and make you do what they say and teachers who are a combination of both. They push you during the pose and calm you down with their voice when you are in relax mode.  While I love the dragons, the MIL prefers the horsewhisperers. Maybe it is an age or personality thing.. End of the day, have a lot of teachers to thank, for encouraging and watching out for what I do in class and giving me suggestions to improve my practice!

When we ask a lot of folks we meet regularly after class "Did you sign up for the challenge?" the answer is "No. I come 2-3 times a week regularly anyways. So don't see any reason to do this 60 day thing!".  I used to go a lot more "regularly" and still, this was a great eye opener. If you are doing Bikram Yoga and your studio has a 60 day challenge, TAKE IT! Why?

1. There are a lot of poses that I was stuck at with a certain level or step. Have managed to get past those points during this challenge. Do not know if it has something to do with the ability to form muscle memory when you go without a break of more than a day, but the end result is obvious. Maybe you will get past those sticky points.

2. It is not easy to prioritize Yoga over other things. Need a high level of dedication to go pull it off and you get to test your ability to do a good thing for yourself above other things. Kind of makes you realize that the most important thing in your life, is "your life"!

3. Your whole family might cheer for you and support you. San, the kids and the MIL who joined me for the last 15 classes.. which was the most difficult streach, supported me like never before! They have also never openly said "I am proud of you" under any circumstance in recent times and hearing them say that was worth the effort.

4. Finally, you realize that you can actually pull it off and it was not an unrealistic goal as you originally thought! Realizing you are made of tougher stuff (mentally and physically) than you thought is a great reward in itself.

Then again, if you are a nerd you might also have some fun staring at Yoga graphs for a change...

ps. Will post pictures next week of the new and improved Shaolin monk looking me..

Guru

The word Guru means "remover of darkness", someone who lights you up with knowledge. The darkness in this case does not mean literal darkness but the lack of knowledge!

If you go to Wiki, you see that Westerners manage to take a very important word and associate a negative connotation to it. That is really sad!

In days when word of mouth was the only way knowledge was transmitted from teacher to student for generations, a guru was everything to a student. We are taught at an early age in India "Maata, Pitha, Guru, Deivam" or  "Mother, Father, Guru, God" to put things in perspective for kids. We are also taught

Guru Brahma, Gurur Vishnu, Guru Devo Maheshwaraha

Guru Shakshat para Bramha Thasmaye Shri Gurave Namaha

which means "I salute my guru who is the embodiment of the Trinity of Creater, preserver and destroyer (Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva)"

Most kids in India that I grew up with would treat our teachers with deference. Teachers word was gods word. That helped a lot till the Ph.D started, at which point my thesis advisor promptly said "I am not always right. You seem to agree with everything I say. Your job is to question me and come up with answers on your own!" 

That was enlightening in its own way. Be your own guru?! Was that the message?

Once that phase was over and a new balance was achieved in taking your teachers word as gods word with an amendment  that said "the guru is always right except when the guru says otherwise"!

My teachers appreciate me obeying them implicitly when they give instructions that are to be followed as part of the learning process. Be it my Guitar teacher or a teacher in any training class or Yoga class!

Bikram yoga works using a dialogue. It is called a dialogue because the teacher talks and your body does what the teacher asks you to do with your body. It is a dialogue between the teachers voice and your body. So if there is one thing that is still pretty much following an oral tradition of teaching, it is Yoga. 

This weekend some of us got an amazing treat. A chance to spend the entire day with Jim Kallett, a senior Bikram Yoga practitioner and teacher who actually does the Teacher training. 

This is like meeting your thesis advisors advisors advisor! It was an amazing experience as he shared his experiences of learning Yoga from Bikram, his wisdom and "trusting the process". 

He took apart every posture in the series with clinical precision and helped those in the room  one by one! After doing Yoga for almost two years, I finally learned what the dialogue "relax your shoulders" meant. 

One thing with the oral tradition is that the teacher says something, your ear hears it, your brain processes it based on the sum total of its vocabulary and experience and different people will still "interpret" the dialog. 

Jim pushed, pulled and stood on people (yes, at one point he stood on my back to prove that my body could do a pose with external help and it was up to my mind to get there on my own.. wish I had a picture of that) to make folks realize one very important thing..

Your body is capable of doing things that you cannot realize are possible. Everything is in your mind!

Now there are pages of notes from the all day yoga session, little reminders that go a long way in improving the practice. Based on what Jim said, in another 4-5 years, things should be a lot better! 

The whole day was truly enlightening, a series of light bulb moments. For many of the questions his answer was " I am not here to give you permission to take the easy way out. If that is why you are asking the question, do not even bother! You do what it says in the dialogue, no more, no less and that is the only way!"

At the end of the day, after talking and demonstrating non stop, he got up and taught a class! Do not know how he has that kind of energy. He said after a few years of practice I will also have that energy and that is good to know.

Jim Kallett is a Guru in the true sense of the word. 

He did an awkward pose where he stood on the tips of his toes. I can stand on my toe and was proud of the accomplishment till I saw him stand on the tips of his toes.

Apparently that is what the dialogue says! Nothing more, nothing less.. 

When we were done for the day, I instinctively touched his feet to take his blessing. He smiled and said "Good luck to you and your family!". That made my day!

Now Jim has piqued my interest in meeting his thesis advisor, Bikram Choudhury! Who knows, that also happen one day..

A year of Yoga...

It was this week, last year that the MIL and myself entered the Bikram Yoga studio in San Jose to sign up for a "10 days for $20" trial deal.

The logic?

We either survive the first 10 days in which case we continue or we spent 20 bucks to find out that this stuff is not for us!

5 days in and we were hooked for not one or two, but a whole host of reasons to the point where we were thinking "Why did we not try this before?"

A year has rolled by and

- I weigh close to 140 lbs now. A weight that was last recorded in early 2002 when I was still exercising, could do a Cha-Cha-Cha on a dance floor with effortless ease and had a stomach like a wolf! Cutting back from 157 lbs, this is a welcome change.

- Have had 4 sick days in the last year since starting Yoga. Mostly due to extraneous causes like inhaling strong chemicals, getting things stuck in my teeth etc.. The body's resistance to germs that the kids or sick co-workers bring has improved significantly. There were almost a dozen sickness events per year in the previous 6 years (specially since the little one was born)

- My ability to stay calm at work in situations where yours truly used to turn red in the ears and openly express instant displeasure at the state of affairs and earned a nickname "The General" has also improved significantly. Can control my head much better these days. Can be the voice of reason and calm now. Also listen more and talk less. Something that every manager has to work hard to do.. which happens to be a side effect of doing yoga. That is a "Win Win", no?!

Last but not least, wife has a "headache" and that means no hanky panky? No big deal. Go sit in the lotus pose, meditate and sleep like a baby! This used to bother me as well, but not anymore. There is a willingness in the head, across the day, to work with the cards you are dealt with and make the most of it.

The kids came to the "Kids Yoga Class" yesterday and Jr. did very well. The little one just lay on the mat and watched others for the last half hour but given her age and attention span, it will take some time for her to get used to this (don't want to force anything on an opinionated girl!). Today both of them were more than wiling to click a few pictures of me doing poses from the floor series.

So.. here they are..

San refuses to acknowledge the six pack in "Six Pack Sundar" but the kids definitely do.

Jr. even knew what a six pack was (apparently "The dairy of a Wimpy Kid" book has a chapter where kids draw six packs on their abdomens with their mother's mascara!) and said "Yes, I can see it!"..

Thanks to Bikram Choudhury, Michelle Vennard and BYSJ! You have given me quite a comeback!

The Yoga journey continues!

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