May the festivities begin

November is a very special month for our family. This year, thanks to Veterans and the Veteran's day holiday, we made it extra special.

Both the kids flew in for just 2 days so we could celebrate their 18th and 21st birthdays as well as Deepavali. They flew in and out so quickly that it is like a blur. 

My parents also celebrated their 53rd wedding anniversary. In the coming weeks, San and me get to be a year older and wiser. I am just hoping to get some more photos of her smiling face! 

Time has on an average been good to us. We do have our little shocks and suprises, but nothing that we have not been able to handle. The most recent being a catalytic converter being stolen from Jr.'s car. We parked the same car outside our house for 12 years with no impact. She takes it to southern california and within a month this happens. It has been replaced and "wire welded" to the frame now. So hopefully it doesn't get stolen again. Little things like this.. but manageable. I got severe light sensitivity and a series of migraines. Maybe because of too much screen time at work  a few weeks ago. It is behind me now. So again, glad that things are in better shape.

However, this blog usually tells you nice stories. Good stories. Happy memories. So with that in mind... here are some pictures.. This girl is now a confident, assertive woman. All of the women in the house are confident adn assertive around me. Then again, I don't count. It is how they deal with others that counts. 

Just yesterday she looked like this.. or so it seems to me.. 

which brings me to my parents.. they probably feel that just yesterday.. they looked like this.. and before they know it, all their kids are married and settled and now their oldest grandkid is an adult. Who knows, they might be blessed enough to see a great grandkid in this lifetime! Something that not everyone gets to see these days!(note to Jr. : Not saying you need to get married. Just wishing my parents will be around longer. You do you!)

After talking to my parents to wish them, realized that they are happy that all their kids are well settled. They were thankful that their life took them the way it did. What can you give them as a gift? All I could think of was colorize their wedding photo. My mom described the sari color as a "sandalwood color, but not yellowish, with a double tint.. or double color".. she used many more descriptive words to get me to the right hue.

Age catches up with everyone, sooner or later. Given where I see my dad, chances are I will get there sooner. These photos are a reminder to capture good memories and mentally accept changes as they come!

Not to leave out the little lady, who has now turned 18 ! She has always been the most mature person in the house and the only person who can put me in my place in any argument. Both San and Jr. bring her and put her as a shield in front of me when they struggle to use their logic to justify things. This one is smart. As long as she eats her meals on time, I am happy.. for that matter so is she!

We did have a quiet family brunch at Saffron's. Their pick. The food was great! The ambience was also nice! We were the first to start the brunch and had reserved it. Were in an out in an hour. Loved it! Would definitely go there again!

They got to blow candles on what was a Jamun gift from the place. (Should have mentioned my allergy to strawberries.. my bad! Didn't expect to see strawberry sause on Jamun's. Apparently very good combination per rest of family). Got to see my three Jamun's smile a lot and that was good enough!

They probably make better wishes than me!

Last but not least.. a wonderful Deepavali weekend. On Friday I could not even open my eyes to light. By Saturday things got better and we celebrated nicely. There was a total of two sparklers I held in my hand for the photos. That was the sum total of fireworks we held in our hands this year. Two sets of sparklers!! There were some flower pots done by kids at our friends place. It was too cold out. So we just enjoyed talking to friends and drinking tea!

Sadly had to say bye before the weekends parties were over..

already packed and ready to go back to college. Still it was great they came for a weekend! San is teaching me how to keep smiling after saying bye to kids. 

She had this amazing sari with a peacock pattern. One of her best so far! Usually I go out of my way to match her Sari color with my shirt. This one was unmatched. Just admired it. 

The pro photoshopper in me could simply not let it go.. so I had to go do this..

Good memories!

Also wishing my baby sister and FIL wonderful birthday's !!! 

Here is a belated happy Deepavali / Diwali wish to everyone! May there be light in your life!

My three beauties are smiling and that is making my life lit! Cannot ask for more!

Destiny..elephants.. memories..

San has successfully managed me for 20 years now! A milestone that I am extremely grateful to pass. The kids who always take my side, finally acknowledged "yeah. you are not an easy guy to deal with. you are very complicated. so amma did do well to handle you for 20 years". 

They are her toughest and biased critics and this came from them.. 

Was still under travel pressure, so we just kept it simple this time. Lunch at Chaat House as usual for our anniversary (this time with my in laws) and a visit to the local temple to say thanks. There was no ice cream at Ghirardelis.. 

We also ended up on a whirlwind India trip for 5 days. This time to do a Sadhabishegam function for my dad and mom. Have written a recent post on this..

My dad's 1000'th moon happens in early December and technically (the sankara sastri in me rears his ugly head again).. we should have celebrated this next February. Then there are astrologers, older people, fuzzy logic, health concerns etc.. and the quantum computing ended up with last week as the "last Revathy birth star of the first half of the year where the earth moves northwards (between Jan14th and July 14th)".. If your head is spinning faster than the earth after reading that, you are in good shape. Like they say in Yoga class "it is normal to feel dizzy after that!". 

It was hectic for us, as Jr. is going to Senior year in high school and we have a packed agenda. We did go as a family and celebrate the event. It went better than expected, given my dad was in diapers three months ago when I went for a 5 day visit. His parkinsons is under control, but he had a fall and was recovering from it. Looks like he is back to where he was before his fall. 

We literally entered the house at 5AM and the function started at 6:30AM.  Chennai was going through a water crisis. So there was the waiting for water truck on some days. It was also the first time we stayed in a hotel in Chennai. Hotels have water and star hotels definitely have water. That was a good decision to move to a hotel.

Two days for the function, two days for rest and we flew back on day 5!

In those two so called "rest days" we managed to

- go meet my grandma (who could not make it to the function)

- meet San's grandma

- eat out in three places

- visit Kabali temple and

- do a quick round of shopping in old Cupertino/ Old Fremont..

sorry.. Mylapore and Mambalam.. I have to write a separate post on why folks who are in Mylapore side end up in Cupertino and Mambalam side end up in Fremont.. the statistics are interesting.. think BART and Station road might have something to do with it..

where were we? Yes.. quick visits on two "rest" days.

We visited Kabali temple .. the place where San and me met for the first time..a place where "our fates changed" in San's words.

The kids went to the elephants and quickly realized that the elephants were sitting in the sun all morning and were at 41 C. One quickly jumped off and the other managed a smile knowing she had already done the damage..

Don't how many kids have sat on these elephants and had fun over the last centuries.. 

We also walked through one of my favorite places in the temple where they keep the cows and peacocks.. Didn't not spot any peacocks this time but this little calf came and was all over me.. kissing me and wanting to play with me. Brought back so many memories.. 

As usual I am now down with a cold virus from the flight.. so taking it easy and resting as much as I can for the long weekend.

My one achievement for the trip was to take a family group picture of my parents with all their kids and families. This group has never been together under one roof ever.. this was the first time. Hopefully it will be repeated many more times.. Have waited a long time to take this picture!

Will have more pictures to edit and share soon. This trip was only 5 days and 20k miles but felt like we went to the moon and back and over decades of time in memories..

Perspectives

Another hospital visit, this time with San chauffering me. We go to the reception desk and the lady gives me a mask to wear. I give her a look and she goes "don't you have rashes?" 

Did not respond to her. She wet wiped the pen I used to sign the credit card bill. I smiled inside. Then came the kicker. Please go to that railing and stand there.

Me : I am very tired and drowsy. Can I just sit in one of these chairs? The doc told me day before yesterday that this is not contagious

Rec: The folks here don't know that. Also because you have rashes a nurse will be right out to get you to a room. 

After waiting near the rails for a good 5 minutes and watching two more people go in, I just sit cross legged on the floor near the railing. Realizing my trouble the receptionist was nice. She got out of her pen and took me inside and said "sorry. I thought they will be faster". 

Then comes a nurse. I go to get my blood pressure checked and remove my jacket. She gets a look at my arm and starts scratching her face. 

Me : What happened?

Nurse : Sorry. Just looking at your arm makes me itch! I don't know why!

For a second my mind just went ballistic on her. Do you have any freaking idea woman that the only thing I want to do right now is to remove my shirt and go rub myself against that opposite textured wall that looks like sand paper? Do you have any idea that I am using all those years of shavasana training just to sit still here? I actually "want".. NO NO NO "need" to itch right now and you are doing it just by looking at me?

How will this woman ever survive J's class is she were to take it, without getting a lecture on "want" vs. "need" when it comes to itching and scratching? the mind was wandering off. 

I took a deep breath in and a deep breath out. The world was not fair and hey, it never claimed to be, so what the hell?

She found a way to carefully place the blood pressure monitor sensor out of a rash and took my pressure. Was expecting to see a reading of zillion / zero. It actually read 104/60. Somehow all those things that were going on in the head, I had not taken to heart. It was nice to know.

Again, she said sorry as she meticulously wet wiped the sensor they put in your fingertip and the pressure equipment. I mumbled something to the effect of "it is okay" and "you know they tell me it is not contagious, but everything you guys keep doing tells me otherwise" . She said "we do it as a habit when we see rashes"

Then while sitting in the room the thought of what these nurses and receptionists and doctors go through in their line of work just hit me. 

Here I am thinking of becoming an anti social simply to avoid contact with strangers in planes and airport lounges to minimize picking up new germs when they go in the exact opposite direction knowing the risks? Can I blame them for wiping everything?

These people put their lives at risk day in and day out dealing with body fluids that are known contaminated for the most part and one mistake could cost them and the odds of that mistake happening are much higher in a hospital than in an United flight. (okay, maybe that last one needs to be really investigated, but let's assume United planes have less sick individuals than hospitals for now, okay?)

One thing that made it through my thick head was that my tendency to judge quickly based on what I saw has not changed or improved. I still judge.. but 9/10 times these days I go back and re-evaluate my stand and am okay to stand corrected within a few seconds or minutes. It would be nice to not judge instantly, but that has been me for 40+ years, so it will take time to change that habbit. 

On the way out, did make it a point to thank each and everyone of the folks who helped me. That was a few days ago.

The last few days have been muddling through work, taking phone calls at home and no driving. Walking in the backyard with no shirt on exposing the glorious rashes to Ra for him to do the rest. Seriously they told me that 5-10 minutes of direct sunlight will help. 

This morning was tough. I had chills all last night and my body was aching so bad that I took a day off of work and went back to bed. When I woke up, it was almost 3PM. Had slept through the entire day from 10PM to 3PM skipping breakfast and lunch. 

Took a shower, did the sunlight thing and put on some more ointments and checked my mail.. and that brings to the second perspective. There were four people who were suggesting that this was an insect bite and six suggesting that I should stop doing Bikram Yoga immediately as it was probably the root cause of all problems. These are all people who are family and very close friends.

The doctors are saying that this is most likely a case of "pityreasis rosea" where the cause is a virus or it is an amoxycillin reaction. They told me that heat will make the rashes more obvious and it is good to not overheat and take warm water showers instead of hot water showers. But they also tell me that Bikram yoga cannot cause this. It can only make the rashes look more purple.

Telling my family and friends that "Bikram yoga is good for you" (exception is wife, MIL and kids)  is like going to a Fox news show and saying "Islam is a peaceful religion"!  Recently in one of those United lounge conversations a guy tells me "Terrorism is in the muslim religion itself!". I was just taken aback. Simply did not know how to react to it. Here is a devout Christian telling a not so devout Hindu that Islam is synonymous with terrorism and I don't have a witty comeback.

Most of the folks who have never set foot in a hot room have an opinion on Bikram Yoga from the media? It is usually opinions, not facts. "If this is what I perceive and I am in the media, it has to be true.. because I am on TV and you are on your couch".. well that seems to be the trend these days.

Have never been a Muslim so I have no right to make a judgement call on the religion, but we do have muslim friends and families who are just like us. Hardworking, sincere, family men and women who go about their day. Some go pray every friday and some don't. Their kids are as normal as ours from every view point. There are definitely data points that tell me that the "all muslims are violent" statement is false.  

Incidentally, it was my 4 year anniversary and I was "itching" to go do Yoga to commemorate, but all I ended up doing was itch. It was depressing. Have written so many posts on my experience with Bikram Yoga over the last 4 years. 

My family and friends sometimes don't see why I love it so much. It is not possible for everyone to experience every religion before making statements on it. One can only hope that all good religions teach the message of understanding and eventually transcending religion to see the god within oneself and others is the final step for religious graduation. 

Same thing for Yoga. I cannot make everyone go experience the hot room and then make up their mind. Tried that and realized that not everyone can see the value of sweating it out for 90 minutes with a bunch of strangers in front of a mirror.

San did try it after my MIL and me repeatedly asked her to try and after 30 classes she said "It is a great feeling after the class finishes, but I simply cannot handle the smell Sundar! I have no idea how you do it, but it is not for me. You go as much as you want, but don't ask me to join you!"  Now that is a sense of realism that I can handle. She is a better person than me for cutting to the chase and saying "if it works for you great. go for it"

The kids used to come for the family class (warm room instead of hot) and loved it. The minute Jr. came to the adult class she stopped after 4 classes. Her reason? "Daddy, I am practically on the floor after the warm up. The teacher told me that my blood pressure is not same as adults so I will feel dizzy. I feel bad sitting down when others are trying so hard all around me. Don't want to be a spoil sport". When she comes up with something like that in all sincereity, I said "fine, do your one mile run every day. maybe you can come try with me in a few years"

The little one nonchalantly states "you know I can TOTALLY do it if I want to.. I really CAN! It is just that I DON'T want to do it!" . Personally the little one is ready for everything and nothing at the same time. She is going to kill me sooner or later in just trying to figure her out.

In all this drowsiness, I read a message that said "by the way, the guy who started the yoga you do, is being arrested for something or other. maybe you should seriously rethink going to this yoga". That is when I closed one browser window, opened another and started typing this post. 

Having never met Bikram and knowing him only though the Yoga routine he has passed on, if someday I meet him, the only words I will have for him are "THANK YOU!" and it will be in a much bigger font than that.

There is no way I can judge him for anything else other than this routine, which is sheer brilliance.