sickness

A symbolic victory?

It has been a rocky three weeks. Lots of ups and downs.. both literally and figuratively. Figuratively because we made a trip to the east coast with family for four days and visited Pittsburgh and had a really great time with family. 

Kids got a detailed education on the family tree from the fathers side during this trip. We did three road trips in three days and visited Heritage sites, national/ state parks, the temple, not to mention Niagra falls. That was the up. The down was that I had multiple international trips and was sick for the most part and flying, even with a biz class upgrade was not a pleasant experience when your ear and entire face hurts at every takeoff and landing. 

The literal part of course was the number of flights in a 20 day period. Have not had a crazier travel schedule in the last two years. 

This intense schedule has made my yoga attendance near zero. Have gone to yoga class twice in 15 days. Many times I have wanted to drag my butt to the hot room inspite of multiple systems failing but decided against it. Today was different. Decided to go and give it a shot anyways. 

You see, this is not new. Most of my friends think that I am crazy to go do Hot Yoga when I have a sinus infection, sore throat or a 101 fever. Let me tell you something though. It actually works! As long as you are confident that you won't pass out in the room and are hydrated enough before class, you come out in better shape than you went in! 

This morning I was pitting multicolored phlegm, couldn't talk above a whisper and the place behind my cheekbones felt numb after repeated attempts to clear my sinus. My ears were hurting as well since the last flight and would pop on and off for no reason. 

While I got a few weird looks from the fellow yogis in the room for repeated coughing during the initial breathing exercise, the rest of the class got better and better. In sequence :

First your lungs clear during the breathing exercise. 

Second, your sinuses drain on to your mat (which is kind of gross but totally relieving) when you do hands to feet pose and get out of the pose. 

Third and this is the best part.. you break into a sweat by the time you are doing the third pose (Eagle pose). Now this is the best part because I think (cannot prove it) that the virus or bacteria that are fighting the body kind of give up when the body breaks into a sweat. Kind of like war time where one party hoists their flag up the fort and the other guys see that as an indication and just give up. Given the body goes into a sweat when it wins the fight against intruding bacteria or virus, this is probably a fake move.. but I will take it! 

The minute you break into a sweat and shiver a little bit in a hot room, magically you feel alright! (Not sure if others have observed this, but I have at least five times so far). 

By the time you do the stretching pose with your head to the floor, anything else left in my sinus is gone! I can breathe again and for a few seconds my body tries to grapple with what just happened. In another 10-15 minutes we are on the floor and I ace this part of the class and come out of the room practically feeling like every other class! 

I have managed to yell at Jr. once for not coming to eat lunch with us and the little one for picking up silly fights with her sister. They are both happy that daddy is getting back to normal and is yelling at them as usual. That also means that daddy is now responding when they try to push my buttons as opposed to "I don't care anymore as I am sick". Girls can be cruel that way. They cannot handle it when  you leave them alone. 

Anyways, now that I am getting my voice back and my breathing is back, going to start working again and process the hundreds of photographs still to be downloaded! 

One has to be blessed to be able to go do Yoga.. for those of you who have the luxury of a fixed time job with no travel, you have no idea how much I envy you! 

On a side note, a friend asked "how come you do yoga so regularly and yet you fall sick?"

My response ? "Sure my immunity is better but I am constantly traveling and picking up germs. If I had a routine between work, yoga and home, I do much better!" and that is true. 

Have you ever tried to wipe the tray table, arm rest, window and monitor with a wet wipe before the flight takes off? It will become black! That is how much crap is there on planes and they don't clean them anymore. 

Enough with the rant. On with life. Photoshop and powerpoint beckon...as do the kids!

Same Same but Different

Every year, Bikram Yoga San Jose has a 60 day Challenge that starts in January. This year, I got into the Challenge reluctantly, knowing that there were three possible Asia trips in those 60 days. 

The teachers said "sign up and see how far you go. you never know". Well, they know me, alright! Once they put my name on that board (twice), it was not going to be easy to give up on the challenge. 

It was a torment. I would come back from a trip and look at my star stickers trailing behind the rest of the stars and "sigh" audibly before entering the class. My biggest challenge was accepting the possibility that I might not do 60 classes in 60 days. 

With a lot of encouragement from San and the kids as well as the teachers, and a lot of doubles (do two classes in one day, sometimes back to back) the stars all added up to 60! Finished the challenge and was off to catch a 12 hour flight. 

Given my sanity is constantly tested by a workload that fluctuates by the hour, working across multiple timezones to a point where I am constantly awake, the yoga has definitely helped me from going postal. 

This is not my first challenge. It is my third (fourth if you count the fact that MIL and me did 91 classses in our first 100 days of starting Bikram Yoga in 2011.. back then we did not know much about this Challenge).

Have written about this experience in 2013 and 2014. Went back to the blog and was missing the 2015 post. Looks like I did the usual graphs and charts, wrote about it and never hit the Publish button, thanks to fighting strange rashes that come with frequent travel?! right after the Challenge.

People call me a "technologist".. I am turning into a "technoyogist". What kind of technoyogi does a post on Yoga that involves counting to 60, without graphs and charts?! 

That kind of sums up the whole challenge. It was not steady progress like the previous two years. It was stop and go. Practiced 6 times between leaving work on Friday to coming back on Monday. My original thought was that I would be dead before Monday morning, but reality was something else. Went to work and felt great. So the number of classes you do over a weekend doesn't matter, as long as you hydrate and rest properly. Zico coconut water was and is my best friend now. If some day, I put a bar in the house for some strange reason, it will only have Zico on tap. 

Then came the surprise after the Challenge. Picked up some strange rash and most of March was a wash with work, with family and Yoga. My extended family often challenged me with things like "you do all this yoga and still get sick. maybe it is the yoga!" .. friends were talking about "yoga overdose".. and once the jokes and jibes start, the hits just keep on coming.

Doing yoga does not make you invincible. It helps you optimize your strength vs. flexibilty, makes sure your hormone glands are all firing right, and helps with your immunity so your body can fight things better. My auto immune disorder and allergies are known to everyone close to me. You bring me close to a range of things like dogs,  cats, sesame seeds, peanuts, chinese juniper, shellfish (and a long list of things) and I can go from normal to strugling in a few seconds. My body probably did a better job fighting the rash, thanks to Yoga. 

Can I prove it? No. Can I disprove it? again, No.  The Yogis in the Himalayas had a much better deal than me, because they didn't have to share recirculated air in a tin can with 400 people for 12-14 hours on a regular basis.  This was like wearing a bullet proof vest and walking into a war zone. Chances are you still get shot in the face. 

The same thing applies to the sudden outburst of emotion when I am on a call and one of my kids screams in the background. Just because you do Yoga, doesn't mean you become a stoic overnight or you become a stoic ever. There is nothing wrong with going from zero to angry in 4 seconds. What is important is how long does it take you to come from Angry to zero? if you can do it in three deep breaths with 6 seconds in and 6 seconds out (24 seconds) you got me beat. That is my bench mark today. It takes me 24 seconds (20 sometimes) to calm down from anything. That is all thanks to Yoga.

The weight tracking after every yoga class is still on. Somehow I have either put on a good 10 pounds between July to December of 2014 or the battery change in the weighing scale has reset the calibration! Will post this graph at the end of 2015 and see what it shows. Right now the weight is more or less steady at 145 +/- 2 lbs. 

Why do this Challenge at all?

Is it to feed the type A personality trait?

Is it some kind of death wish?

Is there any difference that I noticed after the 2nd and 3rd challenge ?

What did I gain by doing this?  

Did I even enjoy doing this?

Those were the most common questions I got in water cooler conversations or at kids birthday parties when the guys or ladies are talking about my Yoga experience.

So here are some answers.

The first time I did the challenge, it was purely a "type A" thing. No shame in admitting it. Everyone at the studio was going "ooh" and "aah" about how great this experience was and someone mentioned that this is "not easy" and "not everyone can do it". Well, "I am not everyone" was the theme in my life at that time.. (okay, it is a repeating theme) and we went. (we = me and my mother in law, who is a type A+ personality, who encouraged me to do it. As my only "local parent", she did the right thing and I am forever grateful to her for doing that).

When the challenge was done though, it was a humbling experience, not a power trip. It put a lot of things in perspective. One can accomplish a lot at work and home, but how far can you push your body, within a two feet by six feet space, that we call a yoga mat? Once you do the same thing regularly and continuously, your body kind of starts remembering things and you start seeing changes. I always thought this concept of "muscle memory" was a bunch of bull. I was wrong! My abs never looked better than after that 60 days. 

The second time, I signed up, because January to March is Flu season here. The previous year, I had successfully managed to evade the flu, in spite of everyone in the house having it. Thought of the Challenge as a flu beater and it did help. My work was crazy in 2014 and at the time and the challenge kept me sane.

This time the learning was different. No two challenges are alike. Different year, different set of issues that have to be overcome. Also realized that poses that were not favorites the previous year, became my "look forward to" poses in the next year and vice versa.  It just shows how your body changes over time. At the end of this challenge I really wanted to ask my teacher if she will write me a recommendation for teacher training. My family and collegues nicely reminded me of my commitments, and I put that wish in the "after this job is done" list.

This year, it was probably a type A thing as well. I was fighting with myself and I won. Could not accept the thought of not finishing after signing up. Do not know if that is a good or bad thing. Sometimes I do not like the me, that stares back from the mirror. Do not understand why it is acceptance of that person that I seek, instead of a determined fight to change that person. Maybe that is the first step to eventually changing?

If you have done the challenge multiple times, the biggest changes you will see, are with your breath and your thought process. The poses are not going to magically improve because you do the challenge. Not in depth anyways. Your form will improve but that is something I have learnt to cherish only after many a teacher has knocked it into my pig head that "form is more important than depth". Even today, the teacher told us "going 90 miles per hour into a ditch is not the goal here. Going straight and steady at 35 miles per hour will still get you places".

If you are doing this challenge for the 2nd or 3rd or n-th time, chances are, you are a regular, and every day is a challenge for you. Still, you get to literally see your body change radically over a two month timeframe. Your core strength improves by orders of magnitude!

However, if you have just started on this journey, it is quite a treat to go through this experience. You WILL see changes with your body and your mind. 

The last question always puts a smile on my face. Do you enjoy doing this? That is a tough one. In all honesty, every class, no matter weather the starting state was one of euphoria or depresssion, ends the same way. I come out singing inside my hear in Gloria Gaynor's voice "and I .. I will survive.. and I survived that 90 minutes of fighting, with my body and my mind".

Not sure if anyone in that room actually "enjoys" it while the class is going on. Mostly folks stare at themselves with a frustrated, constipated or angry face except when the teachers crack a joke or remind people to smile. There are three ladies who are an exception to this. They always have a smile on their face. Either they are seasoned pro's, or air hostesses who cannot undo their smiles. Those are my theories.

Every Yoga class is like making mysore pak for me.  It takes forever to make it and you sweat it out in the kitchen, standing in front of a hot stove, but when you taste the sweet after it is done, it was all worth the effort! Walking back to the car after class, looking up at the sky, smelling the cold air (it is usually cold compared to the hot room) and driving back in silence knowing you are better off today than yesterday, always makes the hard work in the class, worth it.

Definitely recommend trying a Challenge. There is a good chance that you will surprise yourself with what you find out about your own abilities! 

The backrash

It has been some time since I posted anything. It has been a busy week, trying to recover at home, at work, trying to claw my way back to a new normal.

The doctors realized that without antibiotics, my situation was not going to improve but there was the allergic reactions to deal with. So they gave me a different antibiotic and that helped take out all other problems except the rash.

For the first time in three weeks, went to work Monday through Friday and made it ! Also did the usual daddy stuff at home without dozing off in the evenings! So it has been a good week. 

The only thing that bugs me is that my skin which was the envy of Jr. and the little one is now unrecognizable. They used to touch my shoulder or forearms and say "daddy, your skin is so smooth and shiny!" and my response used to be "hey, do you know how much I have sweat through that skin to get it so smooth and shiny? you know what to do if you want to have the same thing!"  

Right now, the front and sides are past the itch and have scabed over. The lower back and all around the belt area is still in bad shape. 

Apparently rubbing your hand over this area feels like petting a lizard or a baby crocodile.  The doctors tell me that this might take another MONTH to get over. I am just praying that it stops itching. Croc skin, no problem. I don't see crocs itching and scratching themselves all day long.

On the bright side, I went to BYSJ and asked my teacher "do you think people will object if I come to yoga class looking like this?" and the response was "It is so sweet of you to check. Folks come here with all kinds of tattoos.. think of this as a tattoo and just come and do your best. worse case just sit down in the room for 90 minutes"

Planning to start from scratch, again, tomorrow.

"It's never too late, it's never too bad and you're never too old or too sick to start from scratch once again."

What bugs me is that after being so fresh and healthy and doing a 60 day challenge and feeling like a well oiled piece of machinery, a few sick folks on a plane and a few small micro organisms can reduce me to this and I have to start from scratch.

Take a deep breath in, deep breath out.. repeat a few times.. 

Now time to move on.