A very different 60 day challenge

Most of you who know me, have seen this once a year post around the end of March about the 60 day yoga challenge. 

BYSJ organizes two of these challenges a year. The winter challenge where you sign up on any day between Jan 1st to 14th and do 60 classes in 60 days (ideally without missing a day, and if you do miss because of unavoidable reasons, do two classes on another day to make up for it). A similar challenge in Summer with same rules. 

This is my 13th year of doing Yoga and this was my 13th 60 day challenge. My family doesn't try to stop me from doing this challenge anymore. They know I somehow manage to finish it and I am usually happy doing the challenge.

Given my MIL has been a big part of my yoga journey, it was always sad to hear her say "want to try and finish this challenge at least once in this lifetime!". She is usually here only after Pongal which is Jan 14th and leaves for Seattle after two three weeks. I don't sign up in summer because of travel and other commitments.

This year, she came early just for the challenge. Had promised her that someone (me, San or the little one who is not so little anymore) will drive her to class for those 60 days if both me and San decide to skip yoga. Given that assurance, she signed up.

For the most part all three of us would go to class. The folks at the studio were very happy to see a car load of folks come to class. Then we went to Alaska on a whim to take care of my wife's bucket list item. One bucket was larger than the other bucket.. or whatever.. fortunately MIL managed to do a couple of Livestream classes when we were gone. Funny thing is that when we got back and I had to do three doubles over the weekends to make up, she joined me! It was not easy for her, but she did. 

While she makes claims that it is not the same thing doing something at 50 vs 70, my take is that age has nothing to do with it. You do what you can and I think she actually gets more out of the yoga than I do and probably does a better job in most classes given the cards she has been dealt. 

Usually it is just a logistics challenge for me but as fate would have it, banged my knee twice on the same day. The last 10 days of the challenge were really tough with the injured knee. Still went ahead and did everything I posisbly could in the hot room every day.

Finished the challenge on March 1st and my MIL also finished it last week!  San did 54 classes in the 60 days but she refused to do any doubles on a matter of principle. She has done one challenge before and apparently that is enough for her. She was happy to cheer the two of us to finish. How she can let it go is where we see that she is a better yogi than me. 

The knee is not swelling anymore but I cannot do tree pose standing on my left leg and have difficulty doing suptavajrasana and the third part of awkward pose. These involve bending the knee inwards towards the other knee or folding it and rotating it out. Given it is better, my teachers still recomended I get an x-ray or get it checked out. So have an Ortho appointment this week. For almost all things that ail me mentally or physically, have used the yoga to recover over the last 12+ years.  Going to see what the diagonsis is. Just because you do yoga, doesn't mean you should bang your knee against car license plate holders and expect to come out okay!

We did celebrate after the challenge with a dinner at Chaat house! Got to share a few words at the Challenge party in hopes that if we can do it, others who are thinking of giving this a try, will actually go for it.

The one thing folks tell me all the time is this.. "Sundar, you do the same yoga everyday.. day after day, year after year.. you do this 60 day challenge every year.. and say you learn something new.. you must be really inattentive or dumb to learn something new in what you do all the time!" 

While it is true that the class is the same day after day, my body and mind are not. As different parts of my body get stronger or weaker, more or less rigid or flexible over time, and my mind gets better at listening to the instruction and internalizing it instead of being in zombie mode, there is new learning! All the time!

Going regularly back to back for long periods of time gives you a heightened sense of awareness of changes happening in your body and we get a chance to remember how we did what we did differently(better)!

My friend Arash summarized it beautifully. He said in the language of Buddists.. which we all learn as kids. Ther is Buddha, Dharma and Sanga. 

Buddham charanam gachchaami, sangam charanam gachchaami! 

Teachers are our gods here! The Dharma is the fact that they stay true to a hard 90 minute yoga practice and the community that is there at BYSJ is truly what makes us keep coming back.

We heard a lot of folks share their amazing journey and stories at the challenge party. You can check those out on the BYSJ website and other social media. A video of what we shared with folks..

As long as there are not major setbacks, will try to keep going to yoga, try 60 day challenge every year and try to keep this body and mind as optimized as possible to deal with everything the outside world throws at me.

Sangeetha says I am still a work in progress and even today she was trying to "knock some sense into me" with little success. For all that, there is progress. Slow but sure progress.

Strongly recommend you try yoga if you are on the fence. They say "do this for 30 days, it will change your body, do it 60 days in a row and it will change your mind". Can attest to it!

Here's to BYSJ for continuing to improve and transform people's lives, year after year, one challenge after another!

A big congrats to all who signed up and gave it their everything (finishing is a different story, signing up is the hard part!) and a special congrats to my MIL for being a great example and role model for yogis out there.

Very proud of her for finishing the challenge and showing up to class on day 61 !!!

The C word

** This post was written two years ago. I forgot to publish it. Kept searching the site for the post as I was so sure it was written... and realized that there was a reason the publish button was not hit at the time** Have done a rewrite of sorts..

Two years ago, when the India trip was coming to a close, my MIL was told by doctors in India that she most likely had Lympohoma. This was literally the day of her flight back. She decided to come here as planned and go through treatment here. The good news was that she had something but it was not lymphoma. The bad news was that she was poked and prodded for a good two weeks with bone marrow tests, repeated scans of every kind etc. and we were in the hospital a lot. 

This photograph was taken two years ago at Kaiser's Oncology ward when MIL and me were waiting (think it was first or second week of August). "They have nice wall colors"  is what I remember thinking while staring at the walls.

I was very busy with a presentation due for the Memory summit and we were taking turns with hospital visits. San does not like needles, and that translated to me going with MIL for all the tests. The night before the bone marrow test, I had gone to bed at 2AM, and the next morning had not shaved. The stress of the previous week (including that engine failure event on Cathay Pacific, a fight to Asia in the middle of a storm, work work and more work pressure)  was showing on my face. Had dark circles around my eyes. The MIL on the other hand was going through a "I am going to live like every day is my last day" phase. She got up, dressed nicely, wore her diamond earings, put on some makeup.. you get the idea.

We are sitting here waiting to be called in. A really nice nurse (think her name was Isabella..  still remember her name after 2 years. she was a really sweet person. I remember thinking "one has to have exceptional people skills to deal with the folks in this waiting room") walks out and goes "Suguna?" and we look at her. She walks to us, grabs me by the hand and goes "let's get this test done with sweetie. It will hurt, but we will try to be as quick as possible". 

My MIL and me were both laughing. She didn't get it first. Don't think she is used to folks smiling and laughing as a response to what she said. Then I told her "I am not the one for the test. She is!" and she said "I would not have guessed!"

After that test and more PET scans, they decided that she had enlarged lymph nodes but we have to go to a "wait and watch" strategy and there was no sign of Cancer in her bone marrow test. 

Then it did not stop there. The scan showed nodules everywhere in her body. So it was zeored down to three things. Tuberculosis, some other disease that affects farm workers in central valley caused by a fungus in the air or some such thing, a thrid unprounceable disease which had no proper detection or cure (I am not making this up).

That brings up the second incident within that same week. So we were sent to the lung infection disease department. As soon as we check in there, the nurse gave a single mask to the MIL. I thought "okay, they are taking a precaution because they don't want to get what she might have". Then I thought "but we are living with her and we are not wearing masks". So we go to the waiting room and the nurse is wearing a mask! 

I was asking the nurse, how come you are wearing a mask and she is wearing one and I am the only one without a mask. She did not even answe me.. mumbled something and said "doc will be in soon". The "doc" was also wearing a mask. I remember telling the MIL how scary it was to be the only maskless person in that office! She was laughing and I clicked this. By then she was happier that the Cancer diagnosis had given way to more complex things which were either curable or she was unlikely to have!

Eventually after two weeks of tests and follow ups, she has been going through a once in six month's scan to check the nodules. Apparently it is like a chess game. If they grow, the docs will attack it. If they attack first, the nodules might retalliate. This thing has become something of a background issue now as the MIL just goes about her routine. 

This taught us a lot of lessons on how anyone anytime is susceptible to cancer. 

My way of overcoming extreme stress was to see a lighter side in things.. Sometimes it is appropriate, other times, timing might not be right and I end up digging out an old unpublished post from two years ago..

We are all grateful that MIL ended up okay after those two weeks! We are also more conscious of one thing.. It is more important to do things you want to do and not procrastinate.. if there is a choice between eating healthy, exercising, praying, watching for your health and living in constant vigil vs. just focussing on things that make you happy... you pick the latter. Why? because no matter how healthy you eat or exercise or pray, the C word can get you. At least if you live happy, you have less regrets!

That was a persective change!

Finally, the Photos..

Having promised photos of the improved me for the last three months, we finally had a breakthrough today..

a. We just came back from class at 10
b. It was hot outside and we were still flexible after the class
c. MIL decided to help me with the photographing considering San has been against this post and idea from the get go..

Again, you have to realize that there are two ordinary people in the photos, but we looked a lot worse before starting yoga! MIL has lost 30+ lbs, I have lost 15 lbs in the last 100 days. We have both reduced a lot of weight in the tummy, thigh area and our shoulders, arms and calves have become a lot stronger!

There was a big big tummy that spread out like North America on the world map.. it has now gone. There is now a dimple(?!) in its place on either side of the stomach... Just wish it would stay here and not expand again..

This is why it was so difficult to get the pictures with a self timer. . you want good focus, with a zoom lens and sometimes.. you just miss your suject and get a nice picture of the fence!

But you get the idea!

It was not a good idea to put the mat on the grass and take pictures because we were not on firm ground, but there had to be come optimization between posing and good photos..

If my waistline improves any further or my muscle tone gets better over time, will post photos in another three months..

The real achiever here is the MIL. She has been tenacious and in her third week she still could not sit down with her knees bent and her butt on the floor between her knees... Now she just eases into it!

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Mothers day

Mother's day is a lot of things to a lot of people... depends on country, culture, commerce.. etc.

All said and done a day where you thank Mom's with an open gesture. It was conceptually new to me because as a kid growing up in India, do not remember any special plans for mothers day or my dad deciding to kiss my mom or buy her special gifts or cook breakfast for her while she woke up late or do a special archanai in the local temple on that day just like he would on her birthday (the archanai of course).

When in Rome, do as the Romans do is what they say (still don't know how the Roman's celebrate Mothers day, but we do know how Californians celebrate) and that means we should have been on the program and schedule.

As fate would have it, I fell sick and pretty much blotched any semblance of plan or schedule.

Woke up this morning with a terrible stuffy nose and painful sinus. Told the little one "wake up.. we have to wish all the moms on mothers day"

LO : Let us go wish mommy

Me : she is still sleeping. don't wake her up. I will call Madras Paati(grandma) and wish her.

LO : why should you wish Paati for mother's day?

Me : what do you mean? She is MY mother. I have to wish my mother on mother's day!

LO : it is MOTHER's day. Not GRANDMA's day!

Me : we have to wish all mothers we know. especially our own mothers. you go wish Amma. I go wish Paati. Amma will wish Bombay (San's mom goes by Bombay Paati or just Bombay in our house)

LO : Now I get it. should I wish Madras Paati too?

Me : yes. and every mom you meet today!

at that point we decide to call Madras Paati.

Me : happy mother's day

My mom : (very hesitantly) Thank you

Me : enna pannindu irukkeL ? (what are you guys doing?)

My mom : silence.....

Me : Enna maa.. pesave maatengare? (what mom.. you are not speaking?)

My mom : was trying to figure out who was on the other side. You must have a really bad cold. what is wrong with your voice? I cannot even recognize your voice? have you been taking care of your health? is it the job? etc. etc.. she almost went to "are you drinking your horlicks every night or not?" we just stopped shy of horlicks and the ennai theichu kuliyal (oil bath). You know you are in trouble if the oil bath makes it into the list of questions.

Me : Please let me talk. I DO have a bad cold. the weather keeps changing outside. Yesterday we went to a birthday party at a local park. it was very warm when we left and walked around in a T-shirt. Suddenly it got very cold and chilly and by evening I had a stuffy nose. It will get better.

Mom : what is the point of wishing mothers day when you are somewhere and I am somewhere and can only see you in pictures? and cannot even recognize your voice?

Me: you have a point there. will come home soon and we can talk, okay?

that cheered her up, at least temporarily...

the sickness kept going. An afternoon nap that was more than a nap. Then we decided to go out and have a drive. San pretty much said "come on now. just sit in the car and I will drive. let's take the kids and my mom out to eat someplace"

so off we go to do some errands and then hit Baja Fresh for an early dinner for the four of them (just had to watch as my stomach wasn't food ready).

We are waiting for San to come out of some store. There is a huge banner on Saratoga Avenue for Lumix Point and shoot camera's.

Jr. : Daddy, when can you buy me my own camera?

Me : I told you that I will buy you one before your next birthday and if not will give it to you as a birthday gift, no?

Jr. : Amma cannot take pictures with your camera anymore. the lens you have there is too complicated for Amma. she doesn't know how to use it.

Me : stop. I can teach her.

Jr. : NO! you cannot. It is very complicated. I have seen it. It has many rings and you keep moving buttons on it and she thought about it that other day and told me "it is too complicated and I don't want to break it and get in trouble with your daddy". We need to be a "camerologist" or something to use your camera. Can you buy me something easy where I can just see the picture on the screen and click?

Me: A camerologist? don't you know a word for someone who takes photos?

Jr.: (sheepishly) Oh yeah! Photographer!

Me : okay. we will think about it.

by the time this conversation was over San showed up and we were off to Baja Fresh..

we were happy, mad, silly, sad and all of the above over a 45 minute period.

Somehow we were all happy that we had each other.

Then we got home and Jr. and the little one insist I sleep with them for a few minutes.

Me : cannot lie down now. Nose is completely blocked. have to inhale vicks

LO : otherwise you will die?

Me : no. I won't die. will feel miserable.

LO : okay. we were worried.

Me : don't worry. everything will be fine.

LO : When is father's day?

Me : Don't know. But don't do anything special for father's day. just pray that we will all be healthy.

Mother's day went with the true realization and appreciation of what Mother's do for you and why they hold such a special place in your heart..

Here is to moms, who make you feel better, who support you when you are up or down and teach you constantly it is not a bad idea to listen to them...

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Goodies from India

The MIL is back with us now and the kids are just plain ecstatic!

She got us all the snacks for the adults and clothes for the kids from all the relatives back home.

Today we did not go anywhere. The girls just wanted to try on the clothes and take photos, to reaffirm their prettiness of course.

One advantage with the girls is that you can spend hours indoors if you take them to Walmart, Target or simply when grandma opens her suitcase just after she lands from the airport!

They will insist on wearing every dress and look in the mirror and before you know it, it is 2013 and they are ready for the next batch of paavaadais (silk frocks).

These aren't the best shots (will have to take some during the day to avoid the shadows) but here goes..

Okay, we are not in 2013, but half the weekend is over!

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